My first repeat customer - Date Diary #3

I had a friend ask the other day (as a joke) if the date I was going on that night was a new client or a repeat customer.  It made me feel like a high-paid hooker, in the best sense.  Well, last night I had my first repeat customer. 

I was not as excited about the second date with Old Ginger Spice. Our first date left me a little confused. Our conversation was okay, but the more I thought about it the whole evening felt a little awkward. First dates, to some extent, are like that. It doesn't help that I've got this unrealistic version in my head of what a first date with "the one" is supposed to feel like.  I won't give you the full description, but it involves a spotlight and an 80's ballad.  I think you get the picture.  I've heard from so many friends about how they knew on the first date that they had met their future spouse. You don't hear too many people wax poetic about how the first time they met "the one" they were indifferent or turned off by certain characteristics. It's just not very romantic. Are most people lying? Perhaps the more common story is the slow build-up to love.  Unfortunately, that makes for a lousy movie.

Pre-Game

 

I only work until noon on Fridays, so I had all afternoon to get ready.  Mostly I just watched TV.  I knew we were going to an independent film festival, but it sounded like we'd be walking around outside a bit, so I wanted to dress cool enough for the sweltering summer heat.  To be clear, I consider any temperature above 72 degrees to be sweltering.  I had the added pressure of dressing for a hipster crowd.  Isn't it ironic that the social group that's supposed to be above conformity and pettiness is actually the most judgmental of all?

 

My wardrobe is limited, but I was able to find a flowy tank top for the occasion:

 

 

I wasn't sure what to think about this date, which left me feeling a little like this:

 

 

The Date

 

I had given Old Ginger Spice my address and told  him to pick me up.  I think you have to go with your gut a bit in online dating.  He felt harmless on our first date, so I was comfortable taking this next step.  In your own online dating journey, this is totally your call.  Never feel bad about being more cautious if that's what your gut is saying.  Although, mostly my gut just demands cheesecake and Grey Goose, so what do I know?

 

He was pretty close to being on time.  He had texted me to let me know he was going to be a few minutes late.  His car was a normal sized sedan, which surprised me, because I'd decided he was so tall he would never fit in a regular car.  My mistake.  You'll notice "good spatial reasoning skills" is nowhere to be found on my profile.  His car was very clean - definitely a plus.  I can't tell you the number of horror stories I've heard from friends who've dated guys who drove around in little more than mobile trash cans.  Boys, listen up:  if your car looks like the Unabomber's shaggin' waggon, you're probably not getting a second date.

 

We were late to the film festival because he admittedly hadn't checked the time of the event very carefully.  No worries, I was essentially just along for the ride anyway.  The venue was tiny and pretty much held together with duct tape.  I was sort of expecting this.  Lack of financing is the trademark of any good Indie establishment. We snuck in and stood at the back because the few seats were already filled.  This was no big deal.  The screenings were underway, but they were all less than 10 minute films, so we weren't in there for long.  He tried to whisper talk a few times, but it was awkward - first because we hadn't reached that level of intimate, close-quarters talking, and second, he's just so tall...or maybe I'm just so short - rarely do I look at my own shortcomings (Ha!) as the source of the problem.

 

After the screening, we walked around looking at food trucks for a bit, but he's such a picky eater that he couldn't find anything palatable.  I personally could have eaten a meal from any of the trucks available.  We finally walked down the street to a pizza place I had never been to.  It was good.  Of course, that basically made for the second date in a row where we pretty much just had dinner.  This time, I'm happy to report, the conversation was better. 

 

Here's the highlight reel:

 

The Good

• He opened my car door every time!  This is a big deal.  I don't expect it because hardly any boys do it anymore, but when it happens, it definitely makes an impression.  Boys, take note - this little act of kindness will pay big dividends.
• His car was clean, and so was his driving. 
• He seemed more comfortable this time.  The conversation when he picked me up was a little more forced, but that was the last time we had a lull pretty much the whole night.
•  He texted me when he got home to tell me he had fun.  I replied that I'd had fun too. 

The Bad

• The physical chemistry is still off.  It's a sights and sounds problem - his body language and voice just don't jive with me for whatever reason.
• He didn't walk me to my door.  In his defense, he was probably just worried I would try to hug him again.  Don't worry, Old Ginger Spice, I promise I will never do that again.
• He's a very picky eater.  I've got plenty of friends whose significant others share this affliction, but it's not my favorite trait.  And for the record, no, potatoes don't really count as a vegetable.

The Ugly

• This is the part where I'm really confused about what I should do.  I don't feel anything for this guy.  Should I go on a third date just to see if something can develop, or is it time to call it what it is? 
• Some people have advised me that at this stage my only concern should be whether or not I'm having fun on the date.  If I'm having fun, then go on another date with that person.  By that measure, I guess I would go on another date, but is that really the only consideration?  Maybe if I was still in my twenties that could be my guide, but I'm not necessarily looking for new friends.  While I had an okay time last night, I don't have a single opinion or feeling about ever seeing this guy again.  What I mean is, if you told me I'd never see him again, I'd be fine with that.  If you told me he was going to be at a friend's dinner party tonight, that would be okay too.  Make sense?  Yeah, I'm confused too.

 

Today's Updates

• I obviously don't know what to do about Old Ginger Spice.  I'm pretty sure he's going to ask me out again.  He's texted me a few times today and I've responded.  I'd love some advice on this, so comment it up!
• I'm still messaging with Referee, but he's got a textbook case of pen-pal-itus.  I don't think our conversation is going anywhere.
• TaxMan has never responded, so I'm putting him in the "What's wrong with you?" category.
• A guy I'll call Engi-Nerd (his own nickname for himself, I might add), messaged me.  He's not a nerd at all.  He is an engineer - the fancy aerospace kind.  He seems cool.  We're still in the initial phases of messaging, so maybe I'll have more to report later.
• Since this starts my 3rd official week of online dating, I'm taking some bolder steps.  I've started liking the profiles of guys that look at my page if I think they have potential.  This, plus the fact that I've been on 5 dates in the last decade, has me feeling all kinds of slutty.