The path to 50 first dates begins with a single step - Date Diary #1

Let me just start by thanking you all for your intense enthusiasm for this little project.  I am so flattered that you all care about my love life so much.  And if you're still reading this intro and haven't already skipped down to the good stuff, let me just ask that you stop harassing me for more blog content by text, email, sky-writing, in person, and any other form of communication you can think of.  I get it, you want to know how the date went.  Well, I'll tell you....

I'd like to start at the end, so spoiler alert for those who like a plot twist, I didn't die.

Pre-Game

 

I rushed home after work on Thursday.  Okay, maybe I left a smidge early - apologies to my supervisor if he's reading this.  I redid my hair, and added a fresh coat of make-up.  I tried on a few options before settling on skinny jeans and a new stripped long-sleeved t-shirt that is already too big.  Side note - I've discovered that only owning a few wearable items of clothing is sort of a huge time saver.  You can't try on a thousand different outfits before you leave the house if you only have 3 items of clothing that fit.  Genius!  I did try on a few different statement earrings.  The first pair was too quiet, the second pair was too loud, but the third pair.....you see where this is going.  I snapped a few pics for my adoring readers.  You're welcome.

Here's how I looked for my date:

 

But on the inside I was feeling sort of like this:

 



I made the 5 mile sojourn to Louie's on Lake Hefner.  Surprisingly, I wasn't nervous.  Sometimes, I get a little red-faced before a date (well, the few times I've had a date), but luckily the Lord decided not to smite me with a blushing fit, which I greatly appreciated.  Maybe that also means I'm getting better at this whole dating thing. 

The Date

Geek Squad was early by 10 minutes.  He texted me while I was on my way to let me know he was already seated at a table inside.  I would have responded while en route, but I NEVER text and drive, and neither should you.  I appreciated him letting me know.  We sat at a high-top table near the entrance.  These kinds of tables always present a challenge for me - I have short leg syndrome, but somehow I made it work and managed not to fall off my chair all evening.  Trust me, that was a legitimate concern.

The beginning of the date was definitely the most awkward part.  I introduced myself and sat down, then there was this short lull where neither of us knew how to get this thing started.  I finally just asked him how his day had been.  Lame, but effective.  He basically didn't shut-up for the rest of the evening.  Our conversation was continuous, and covered a lot of the major topics.  We did find some humorous common ground when talking about our experiences on the dating site.  I wasn't sure if he'd be willing to commiserate with me over this, but he was a good sport.  It would seem extra awkward to me to meet someone from a dating site and not acknowledge the fact that you met on a dating site.  Like you were pretending you'd just met each other organically instead of what really happened - you liked my picture, I liked your picture, now we've decided to drink together to see if there are babies in our future.

We started with a beer and ended up ordering dinner.  Towards the end of the date we got around to talking about religion.  This is a big deal to me.  In fact, I'm planning a whole post about this topic, guaranteed to have you rolling in the church aisles.  That may seem strange since I do use the stray curse word now and then, but really the religion thing is the only non-shallow legitimate deal breaker I have.  It turns out Geek Squad is a very devoted Catholic.  I was raised non-denominational Christian and am very active in a church in that vein.  This may seem like an okay fit.  I mean, we both love Jesus, but I am not going to be Catholic for a variety of different reasons, and he was pretty clear that he wasn't going to be anything but Catholic for a variety of reasons.  While we don't necessarily have to tackle all these weighty topics on the first date, I am glad to have gotten to the heart of this issue up front. 

Here's a quick highlight reel from the date:

The Good:

• He was who he said he would be.  After my friend's scumbag experience the other day, I was a little leery about what I was getting into.
• He was cuter in person than in his profile picture.  That is not at all how I expected that to go down.  He was definitely cute enough for me to continue dating him if the chemistry was right (that may sound shallow, but I think you understand what I'm getting at).
• He comes from a normal family, sort of like mine (except for the normal part).

The Bad:

• He talks to his parents every day.  Like seriously, every day.  And if he doesn't call by 9am, they will call the police.  He thought this was normal.  I disagree.
• One of our conversations:
• GS: "90% of the men in television news are gay."
• Me: "Are you gay?" (I was a little serious)
• GS: "No, I'm an outlier."
• Can I just say, I thought that statistic was really high and not well supported by any other facts during the conversation.
• Also, this was to prove a point about why it's hard to meet women at his job.  I have to think if you're the only straight guy at the station, your odds are rather improved. 
• While talking about our online dating experience he mentioned that he's been stood up a few times, and one girl even walked in, looked at him, and walked out.  I think this is horrible.  Ladies, don't be like this.  If you've agreed to meet someone, then show up.  Absent discovering they are a psycho-killer, go ahead and participate in the date if that's what you've agreed to do. 
• We both talked plenty, but the conversation was largely focused on him.   He did not ask me any questions about myself. This is the second date I've had recently where this was an issue.  Is this normal, or am I just dating guys with sub par social skills? 
• I capped the date at 2 hours.  His personality was actually starting to get on my nerves at that point, which does not bode well for the next 50 years.

The Ugly:

• I don't think I want to go out with him again.  My normal dating  regime is to give guys at least 2 dates before discarding, because frankly nobody does their best work on a first date, and that includes me.  However, I get the feeling that a second date with Geek Squad would mean a lot more to him than it would to me, and I don't want to lead him on.
• This may not even be an issue, because he has not texted or messaged me at all today.  So now I'm left feeling rejected and unworthy.  At the core of who I am lies a crazy person who just can't be pleased.  I'm working on it.

Today's Updates

• Old Ginger Spice texted me while I was out on my date last night.  By the time I got home and was able to reply, he'd already gone to bed.  So the crazy part of me assumed he was turned off by my 2+ hour reply time and had written me off.  It's times like this that the phrase, "but he was my one chance to have children" runs through my head on a continuous loop.  However....
• He texted me this morning, and we have texted off and on all day.  He is delightful.  I am smitten (which I understand that's crazy and ridiculous since we haven't met).  But I have a hard time finding a guy who can keep up with my particular style of banter.  It's definitely attractive.  If I don't meet him soon, he runs the risk of failing to meet my rising expectations.  This really presents a challenge for me.  I tend to be a bit overbearing and ballsy (shocking, I know), so with these guys I'm trying to let them take the lead as much as possible.  At what point can I ask him to meet without seeming desperate or like I'm stealing his thunder?  I figure I'll give him until Sunday to man up, but I'd like to know what you think.
• Another guy has been messaging me as of late.  He seems foreign, perhaps of the Middle East persuasion, and he's 40.  I'll call him Borat.  He's been messaging me for a few days and he's now suggested that we meet for lunch sometime.  We have not exchanged numbers nor have we talked about much that matters.  I'm on the fence about meeting him.  This may have to do with the recent ISIS drama overseas, but I'd like to think I'm not a borderline racist.  I may suggest to him that a future lunch date would be an option, but that I'd like to keep getting to know him by message for now.  Oh no, now I've got pen pal syndrome! I'm also thinking I may just tell him I'm no longer interested.  This is the part where that crazy phrase starts to run through my head - see above.
• I've received a few messages from a guy I'll call OSU Enthusiast #2 (see, I knew there would be others).  I think I'm going to not reply to any of them.  I'm just not sensing any kind of future with this guy.  Perhaps I'm judging too quickly, but I'm also getting more adept at figuring these guys out from the context clues in their profiles.
• Juggling boys is difficult. While I was on my date last night, I had a bit of a hard time not thinking about the other guy probably texting me at the same moment. By the way, that's not a sentence I ever thought I'd say.  It feels so scandalous.  Anyway, I felt like I was cheating on Old Ginger Spice a little bit, which I know is not true.  As a friend so helpfully reminded me, I'm allowed to get to know other people at this stage.  What I've learned about myself is that I don't possess the skills or desire to be a whore. I'm a one guy at a time kind of girl. However, being on this site will force me to talk to more than one guy at a time. It's a numbers game. As much as I might like a guy I'm talking to, I can't ignore others that have potential.  The guy I like could turn out to be a 12 year-old-girl, or married, or just not ready for a relationship.  Here's hoping he's not a 12-year-old girl.  Although that would explain why he was able to so eloquently defend Miley Cyrus.